I remember asking my burritto what will both him the most about being away from home. He said the things he would miss out on. Of course I jumped to defense and said I would not do anything the whole time he is gone, but unfortunately that is not possible even if I tried. I have realized things do happen no matter what.
At this time I still can't come out of the house, unless I am going to work. My life has been really good, for the past month I have kept myself pretty occupied with my hobbies and family.
Monday the 4th of February, has actually been the worst day since he's been gone. I was suppose to work a whole day of over time, which is totally cool, cuz I could use the extra cash. All weekend my chest had been really bothering me, I had horrible stabbing pains going through my chest, but like the blonde I am I ignored them. Which by the way is not only a blonde move on my part, but incredibly stupid. I have had severe asthma for the past ten years.
Anyway, Monday morning I got up & went to work, my chest seemed to have cleared up, until about ten and all of the sudden I felt like someone had just stuck knives through my lungs. I stopped what I was doing, crabbed my chest, and sat there. I took a couple of puffs of my inhaler, but it was to late my teeth had already started tingling and I was going into panic mood. I tried to mentally talk myself out of the asthma attack/panic attack. That was not happening, I took more puffs off my inhaler and emailed my mom. I let her know my chest was hurting really bad, she said use your inhaler. And of course I said Hello Women Ive tried!! By the time she got back to me it was to late, I was suffocating. I had my coworker call her, to let her know I could not breath. By the time my mom got to my property, I couldn't even walk, it was so embarrassing. I had to get help out to the car. I was crying, I was so embarrassed and in so much pain. I spent all day in the ER, I'll tell you what the people there are so rude, the way they talked to me was so not necessary I could just feel they didn't care , in fact they lost me three times!
I left my phone in my desk at work, so I could not get a hold of Burritto to let him know what has going on. By the time I got it he had called me and sent a few emails. It was so sad, I had to tell him what happened over the phone, he got pretty upset and angry. I never have any asthma attacks when he is around. I can't complain about that, it is so expensive to go to the hospital now days and time consuming at that. After he freaked out, he made sure I was ok, now he makes sure I am taking my meds and doing my breathing treatments. But the point of this story is we all think about the time we will miss with our loved one, and the conversations will miss out on, but what about the little things we won't be around for. Before Burritto left it was not about what stories I would not be apart of, but the sleeping with out my hubby, and the eating dinner alone and I have to do chores. I really am a spoiled brat to tell you the truth, and now all of that is null and void for the next year :(. But now that I have some good stories to tell him I understand that he was right, we are missing out on so much, and it really does hurt!
At this time I still can't come out of the house, unless I am going to work. My life has been really good, for the past month I have kept myself pretty occupied with my hobbies and family.
Monday the 4th of February, has actually been the worst day since he's been gone. I was suppose to work a whole day of over time, which is totally cool, cuz I could use the extra cash. All weekend my chest had been really bothering me, I had horrible stabbing pains going through my chest, but like the blonde I am I ignored them. Which by the way is not only a blonde move on my part, but incredibly stupid. I have had severe asthma for the past ten years.
Anyway, Monday morning I got up & went to work, my chest seemed to have cleared up, until about ten and all of the sudden I felt like someone had just stuck knives through my lungs. I stopped what I was doing, crabbed my chest, and sat there. I took a couple of puffs of my inhaler, but it was to late my teeth had already started tingling and I was going into panic mood. I tried to mentally talk myself out of the asthma attack/panic attack. That was not happening, I took more puffs off my inhaler and emailed my mom. I let her know my chest was hurting really bad, she said use your inhaler. And of course I said Hello Women Ive tried!! By the time she got back to me it was to late, I was suffocating. I had my coworker call her, to let her know I could not breath. By the time my mom got to my property, I couldn't even walk, it was so embarrassing. I had to get help out to the car. I was crying, I was so embarrassed and in so much pain. I spent all day in the ER, I'll tell you what the people there are so rude, the way they talked to me was so not necessary I could just feel they didn't care , in fact they lost me three times!
I left my phone in my desk at work, so I could not get a hold of Burritto to let him know what has going on. By the time I got it he had called me and sent a few emails. It was so sad, I had to tell him what happened over the phone, he got pretty upset and angry. I never have any asthma attacks when he is around. I can't complain about that, it is so expensive to go to the hospital now days and time consuming at that. After he freaked out, he made sure I was ok, now he makes sure I am taking my meds and doing my breathing treatments. But the point of this story is we all think about the time we will miss with our loved one, and the conversations will miss out on, but what about the little things we won't be around for. Before Burritto left it was not about what stories I would not be apart of, but the sleeping with out my hubby, and the eating dinner alone and I have to do chores. I really am a spoiled brat to tell you the truth, and now all of that is null and void for the next year :(. But now that I have some good stories to tell him I understand that he was right, we are missing out on so much, and it really does hurt!
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